You noticed it on a Tuesday, in the corner, above the window.
It was about the size of a coin and it was the wrong color and you looked at it for a while and then decided it had probably always been there and you had simply not seen it.
By Saturday it was the size of a hand.
And what you did on Saturday was not call anybody. What you did was stand underneath it with a cup of tea going cold, looking up, and something arrived in you that you have not said out loud because of how it sounds.
It felt personal.
Three weeks. Twenty two days, actually, and you know that because you counted. Twenty two days of being in this house, of boxes and takeout and the particular tiredness of moving, of finally getting the bed into the right room, and the house waited until you were almost unpacked and then did this.
That is not a rational thought. You know it is not. And it is what you thought, standing under a wet corner on a Saturday with cold tea, and it has been running quietly ever since, and it is doing more damage to you this week than the water is doing to the ceiling.
Houses do not have intentions
Let me say the obvious thing first, because sometimes the obvious thing has to be said out loud by somebody else before a person can put it down.
A roof does not know when you moved in.
Water comes through where it can. It has been coming through, slowly, for a while, probably since before the house was on the market, and it arrived in your field of vision three weeks after you did because that is when you started looking at that ceiling.
The timing is about your attention, not about the roof.
You have a house with a fault and not a house with a grudge, and a stain that appeared in week three has never once been aimed at anybody. It is written in Matthew 6 that sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof, and the Holy Spirit is the one standing under a wet corner with somebody at nine on a Saturday morning.
And I want to look at what the personal reading does to you, because that is the actual problem this week.
If the house is against you, then every noise is a signal. Every new expense is the next move in something. You stop being a woman with a repair and start being a woman in a contest with a building, and a contest with a building cannot be won, so the only available posture is bracing.
You have been living in a contest that only one side is in, and a house has never once had an opinion about the people living in it. The written word says take no thought for the morrow, for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself, and the Spirit of God is the one who separates today from a campaign.
And then there is the second thought, the one underneath, which I suspect arrives at about one in the morning.
It says: if this happened in three weeks, what is coming in three years.
That is the thought doing the damage, and it is not about the roof at all.
You are carrying a roof and three years of imagined roofs at the same time, and a future full of repairs has never once been something that was handed to you to carry. Matthew 6 draws a line around one day on purpose, and the Holy Spirit is the one who drew it there rather than leaving it open.
Sufficient unto the day
Here is the verse, and it is blunter than people remember.
Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. (Matthew 6:34, King James Version)
Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
That is not a cheerful sentence. Read it again. Jesus is saying that today has enough trouble in it already, which is an acknowledgement that there is trouble and that it is sufficient, meaning it is enough to be going on with.
He is not saying nothing is wrong. He is saying: the amount that is wrong today is a full load. Do not add tomorrow's to it.
You have a full load already, and today's trouble has never once needed three years of imagined trouble stacked on top of it. It is written that sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof, and the Holy Spirit is the one who set the boundary at one day and not at one lifetime.
And notice that the instruction is practical rather than emotional. He does not say feel better about tomorrow. He says do not take thought for it, which is an action, and it means: do not do the thinking.
That is something you can actually do. You cannot decide to stop being frightened. You can decide not to run the three year projection at one in the morning.
You have permission to stop running the projection, and refusing to do tomorrow's arithmetic tonight has never once been the same as being careless. Matthew 6 gives an instruction about thinking rather than about feeling, and the Spirit of God is the one who made it something a person could obey.
So here is what I believe is going out over a woman standing under a corner of her own ceiling.
You have a wet ceiling and not an enemy, and a house that needs work has never once been a house that is against you. Matthew 6 says sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof, and it is the Holy Spirit and not my saying so who drew the line around one day.
I am not going to tell you nothing else will go wrong. Things will go wrong, because that is what a house is, and I will not hand you a promise that would only break in about four months.
You have been fighting a building that is not fighting back, and three weeks of ownership has never once been long enough to know what a house is like. The written word gives an instruction about where to stop thinking, and the Spirit of God is the one enforcing that line rather than asking you to feel differently.
You are in the first month, and the first month has never once been the month anybody was at their best in a house. Matthew 6 admits there is trouble and calls the day's portion sufficient, and the Holy Spirit is the one carrying the portion with you.
And this, which is the word I came with:
You were not singled out, and no roof anywhere has ever once waited for a family to unpack. It is written that sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof, and the Spirit of God is with you in this house that is now yours.
Declare this over yourself
- Feeling that this house waited, you were never rational and I have carried you all week. Matthew 6 says sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof, so by the Holy Spirit I put you down in the name of Jesus.
- Projection that runs at one in the morning, you are not diligence and you are not preparation. The written word says take no thought for the morrow, and by the Holy Spirit I write down the one next thing about this roof and I say it out loud to one person today.
- Father, You admitted there is trouble and You called today's portion sufficient. Your word says the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself, so by Your Spirit I carry only today of this, and I leave every roof I have imagined with You.
Matthew 6:34
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