It was Anna's, in October, and there were eight of you, and you have no idea what the story was.
Somebody was telling it at the other end. It went on for a while and it was clearly good, because there was that thing where everybody leans in, and there was a laugh at the end that went round the table twice.
And you laughed too. You laughed at the right moment and you could not have told anybody one word of it.
Because you had been looking at the countertop. And then at the cabinets, and then at whether the floor had been done, and then at the doors through to the back, and somewhere in the course of that a story that eight people are still quoting went past you entirely.
And you know exactly what you were doing. There is a figure. You arrived at it somewhere around the second course and you have not forgotten it since, whereas the story has gone.
That is the trade you have been making for about ten years.
What actually got spent
Let me put both sides of that evening down, because I think only one of them has ever been counted.
A figure was gained. It is roughly accurate and it is stored somewhere and it will never be used for anything. Nobody in this story is buying Anna's house. Nobody will ever ask about it. It sits there.
And you spent an evening.
Not a metaphorical evening. The actual one, with eight people in it and a story going round a table twice, which happened once, on a Tuesday in October, and is not going to be available again.
You have been paying evenings for figures, and a number you will never use has never once been worth one thing you were in the room for. The Holy Spirit is the one who was at that table while a story went past, and it is written in Ecclesiastes 6 that better is the sight of the eyes than the wandering of the desire.
And I want to name the machine kindly, because it is not greed and calling it greed would only make anybody defensive.
You have a habit and not an appetite, and a mind that goes to surfaces has never once been a mind that wanted what somebody else had. Ecclesiastes 6 names the roving of the desire rather than the desire itself, and the Holy Spirit is the one who made that distinction on purpose.
It is closer to a habit of attention. Your mind goes to surfaces the way some people's go to what somebody is wearing, and it does it without instruction and it has been doing it for a decade. It is not an appetite. It is a direction.
Which is good news, because a direction can be given something else to go toward, whereas an appetite has to be fought.
You have a direction rather than an appetite, and a habit of attention has never once been the same as wanting what somebody else has. Ecclesiastes 6 sets the sight of the eyes against the wandering of the desire, and the Spirit of God is the one who named the wandering rather than the wanting.
Better is the sight of the eyes
Here is the verse, and the two halves are worth separating.
Better is the sight of the eyes than the wandering of the desire: this is also vanity and vexation of spirit. (Ecclesiastes 6:9, King James Version)
The sight of the eyes. What is actually in front of a person.
Against the wandering of the desire, which in the Hebrew is closer to the roving of the appetite: a thing that goes off, looks around, ranges about after what is not here.
And the verdict is plain. Better is the first one.
You have the thing that verse calls better already in front of you, and eight people at a table has never once been less than a countertop. The Holy Spirit is the one who made that comparison, and the written word prefers what is in the eye to what the desire goes roving after.
And notice that this is not a rebuke about wanting a nicer kitchen.
The wandering in that verse is not about desire being wicked. It is about the fact that a roving attention is never where the person is. The eyes are in one room and the desire is somewhere else, and the person is split between them, and the verse calls that vexation of spirit, which is a phrase about being worn out.
That is exactly what you feel on the drive home from these evenings and have never had a word for.
You have been split between two rooms all evening, and a mind that is somewhere else has never once been able to rest in the place the body is sitting. Ecclesiastes 6 calls the roving vexation of spirit, and the Spirit of God is the one who diagnosed the tiredness rather than the appetite.
So here is what I believe is going out over a woman who cannot remember a story that eight people are still quoting.
You have been in rooms without being in them, and a mind that prices a kitchen has never once been a mind that chose to. Ecclesiastes 6 says better is the sight of the eyes than the wandering of the desire, and it is the Holy Spirit and not my saying so who made that comparison.
I am not going to tell you to stop noticing. It is ten years old and it is fast and it was running before you sat down.
You have been trading evenings for figures you will never use, and a number stored in a woman for ten years has never once been spent on anything. The written word calls the roving vexation of spirit, and the Spirit of God is the one who named the tiredness as well as the habit.
You are able to give a direction something else to go toward, and a habit of attention has never once had to be fought the way an appetite does. Ecclesiastes 6 sets the two side by side and names the better one, and the Holy Spirit is the one who does the turning.
And this, which is the word I came with:
You were at that table and you missed it, and no evening anywhere has ever once been unavailable to you the next time. It is written better is the sight of the eyes, and the Spirit of God is with you at the next table you sit down at.
Declare this over yourself
- Figure I arrived at around the second course, you are accurate and I will never once use you for anything. Ecclesiastes 6 says better is the sight of the eyes than the wandering of the desire, so by the Holy Spirit I put you down in the name of Jesus.
- Ten years of trading evenings for numbers, you have cost me a story that eight people still quote. The written word calls the roving of the desire vexation of spirit, and by the Holy Spirit I ask one person three questions in a row and I stay on it.
- Father, You called what is in front of the eyes better, and You named the roving as the thing that wears a person out. Your word says better is the sight of the eyes, so by Your Spirit I sit down in the room I am actually in.
Ecclesiastes 6:9
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